Emily: Twyla's group had a very special chemistry - everyone got along extremely well. Twyla herself is a great role model - a strong, independent, intelligent artist. I would love to work with her more. It felt good to return to the technical demands of ballet, but through her hybrid choreography. I ended up putting on pointe shoes again, after five years of not wearing them, and performing a duet in them! I thought that I would never go back to wearing pointe shoes, that they weren't at all a part of my identity as a dancer, etc. etc., but when Twyla said, "Ok, so you're going to learn this duet," I decided not to sit down with her, like therapy, and explain: "well you see, these shoes represent repression to me…." I just stuck them on and started working in them again. What I thought was a very big deal ended up being no big deal at all. Surprise surprise, I actually enjoyed it. So in this funny way, I came full circle (personal lesson learned: pointe shoes are not the enemy!!)

(Laughter)

Twyla really pushed us to make our own choices within her choreography, and not just regurgitate what we were told to do - shake things up musically, technically. Basically, really be alive. So many dances can look staid. But Twyla's work celebrates the spontaneity and joy of motion, which is life in the end. Her work, and the adrenaline rush of its physical demands, made me feel overjoyed that I am a dancer.

Finis: Ah ha! I think you're the first dancer I've ever heard use the words "overjoyed that I am a dancer." That is certainly what enveloped the entire audience the night I attended. We were all just blown away by the camaraderie, and the superbly high level of technique and artistry. How wonderful that you could stop dancing at such a high point. Now, tell us why you are now at Yale (and you must be one of the few ballet dancers to have the professional experience you've had, and then go on to one of the top Ivy League Schools.)

Emily: First and foremost, I have to say that I'm not going to Yale because I'm done dancing. I consider this time to be a hiatus in my performing career. Because I transferred in with credits from attending college part-time while dancing, I only have two years left as of January. Basically when I found out that I had been accepted at Yale, with a scholarship, it was an opportunity too great to pass up.

Finis: What degree are you working toward?

Emily: As of right now I'm an English major. I love to write; I'm thinking of pursuing some form of arts journalism, down the line. I also love every anthropology class I've taken. Maybe graduate school in anthropology, sometime in the future, focusing on dance and performance within different cultures, if possible. Arts education is also interesting to me. I'm essentially trying to find ways to combine the intellectual and the physical in equal measure, if that makes sense. After I graduate, I want to dance more, continue to perform in all kinds of different situations, and also add whatever else comes my way that would not have been possible without this academic education that I'm getting at the moment.

I think I'm in school full-time out of a strange, middle-aged dancer crisis. At 29, I basically reached a point where I'd done a great deal professionally. I understand the lifestyle of being a dancer; I understand something of the creative process, and something about a variety of different ways of dancing. I started to consider what new ways I could challenge myself. And I began to crave a different perspective on what dancing is and what it means, both in my life and in the larger picture -- what is this thing I've been doing since the age of five? You find yourself in the routine, doing-doing-doing, and all of a sudden it's over and you never fully knew what it was you were a part of.

Finis: I know what you mean. There are so many unhappy dancers (as there are people in every profession) who find themselves prisoners of their jobs once they begin questioning why they're doing what they do.

Emily: I needed a little time to step away from dance, to learn about the rest of the world not as a working dancer, and to watch dance as an outsider, in order to better understand what it is. Plus, I did not want to put off college until the absolute end of my career and use the degree for that awkward professional transition into something totally different. Instead, I felt that getting an academic education should be a part of my dancing life. It's something I wanted to incorporate into my dance career NOW, and not at the end of it all.

Finis: Good idea!

Emily: Many people successfully finish college through correspondence, or part-time programs like the one Fordham or Columbia offers, while dancing professionally full-time. This is a great way to include academics in a dancing life. My version, totally changing my lifestyle to that of a student for the next two years, is extreme, no doubt. I don't think I would have done it this way if it hadn't been this particular school. So far, it has produced interesting results. I love my classes, and the influx of ideas. And I really love studying, and meeting new people. I feel like I'm recovering parts of myself - the thinking, reading, writing, questioning parts, that dancing was not always able to satisfy. I have also learned that I need less sleep as a student than as a dancer!

Finis: (laughter) Well, dancing and performing every day takes a lot of energy. It does tend to make one a bit tired!

Emily: You're right. I miss that fatigue -- I miss dancing all day long. I miss the physical exercise, and performing. I still take class, and I'm teaching a little, at the New Haven Ballet, but it's not the same. I miss the dancing me. The academic classroom does not reflect that aspect of myself at all. I never quite realized how little people know about dance. One of my English professors commented, in trying to grasp the idea of dance as an art form, "It's kind of halfway between athletics and literature, isn't it?" He's seen one ballet in his life. A student who found out that I danced professionally was in disbelief that I've been able to support myself dancing for the last ten years. I find myself making analogies in my academic classes to dance. In my "Race and Ethnicity in American Politics": "Identity formation -- got personal experience there. First I was a ballet dancer, then I was a modern dancer...then I went back to being a ballet dancer..." And as a student I announce much more than is necessary, to anyone who will listen: "I'M A PROFESSIONAL DANCER." Most of the students think I'm their age, which makes it all the more confusing. It's been an interesting (sometimes embarrassing!) experiment in personal identity.

Finis: I think it's wonderful that you're exposing yourself to all this change and questioning.

Emily: It's definitely not the easiest path to take. I have never ever considered myself to be a bunhead. I've always been impatient with the sort of dancer who only talks about dance, who is obsessed by it. I've always been interested in many different things; I consider dancing to be one of many loves. (Reading, writing, traveling, theater, and good conversation being other passions.) But here at Yale, I think I'm becoming the biggest bunhead around. Being able to be a dancer is a wonderful gift - I watch a dance performance now, or fellow professional dancers in class, and think: god, how amazing is that, to be able to do that with your body. Even six months ago, I didn't have that kind of appreciation; I was too inside it. For that newly recovered appreciation, and for many other reasons, I don't regret my decision to be at Yale. For whatever reason, I needed this perspective. I needed this education. And when the time comes, I'm eager to get back to dancing, in whatever new form it will take in my life.

In the meantime, there's a lot of dancing around the house going on up here. My boyfriend, a complete and utter non-dancer, just sits on the couch and laughs at me. But you can really learn a lot from dancing around your living room, you know?!

Finis: I do! That's what I do when I think up combinations for my videos and classes. Do you have any special advice for our young readers?

Emily: For young dancers -- I would say that silly old line: be true to yourself. Your individuality is invaluable material, both in establishing a career, and creating a life.

Finis: Well said! Keep up the great work, Emily, and thanks.