I have been caught in this web of lies that anorexia spins for close to four years now, and I want you to know what it has done to me and others. There are many things that contributed to my disease one was dance. It all started when I put on that little black leotard and pink tights, I did it everyday, but one day it told me that my body was fat, and I believed it. It wasn’t just dance, but mostly it was, my home life. I couldn’t control what was happening at home and I blamed the things that happened on myself. So to take control of my life (this is when I truly lost control of my life and anorexia took over) I restricted my eating. I found comfort in my newfound friend. I thought it would take all the pain and hurt away that others caused towards me. I believed that if I got small enough, it would be like I’d disappear and no one would hurt me anymore. To make a long and painful story short, I lost a lot of weight, which ruined my future in dance. I experienced many of the consequences that I will discuss next.

The symptoms are life threatening, you can die at any age, at any weight. You don’t have to be emaciated to feel your body dying. My heart would ache so badly, it was painful to walk, even to breathe. Those two everyday activities was too much strain on my heart. I was terrified that I would drop dead, but I continued on. Now you may be wondering if I was so scared of dying from it, than why did I continue to kill myself? It’s like smoking, people know that it can kill them but they do it anyway. You have heard only apart of what I’ve experienced, now listen to what it did to me. There are many symptoms of anorexia (anorexics don’t always have all the symptoms and remember that all these symptoms are done to the extreme.) The body of an anorexic goes through a lot of torture. Here are some that have affected me the most. I became dizzy when standing up or moving too fast, which resulted in passing out. After months of dieting to the extreme I lost most of my body fat and developed hypothermia, which is when the body’s natural insulation (fat) becomes nonexistent and the victim becomes cold all the time. I also developed amenorrhea, which is the absence of at least three menstrual cycles. I may not be able to have children in the future because of this. I became anemic, which contributed to being cold all the time because I didn’t have enough iron in my body. I became malnourished and vitamin deficient. I did many rituals everyday, I had to cut up my food in tiny pieces and couldn’t drink anything but water. I was terrified of eating too much, I thought I would get fat off of my limit of 500 calories a day or an apple a day. To calm my fear I had to get rid of the food, I either made myself vomit or I exercised for long periods of time. Next I’ll explain why some people become anorexic.

In the past researchers thought that only middle class to upper class women became anorexic for the attention. Now researchers said its because dieting was taken to extreme. Another reason is because of social pressure, in society women think that in order to be beautiful you have to be thin. Some researchers blame traumatic experiences in the person’s life. Yet whatever the reason, it is an issue of control. The anorexic person feels like they have no control in her life and the only thing she can control is the food she eats and what she weighs.

If you think you know someone who might be anorexic, you can help. Find somewhere where you can talk to that person about your concerns for her. Provide information on anorexia and treatment. She may be mad and deny that she has a problem, but tell her you are worried about her and that you will talk to her later about it. You can also visit web sites on eating disorders, talk to a school councilor, or call a hotline number. There are many options to get help, so help yourself or your friend to live.

I’ve wasted four years of my life because of anorexia. It’s not worth it to be in constant pain and always thinking about food because the hunger pains never go away. I will have to deal with this disease for the rest of my life because there is no cure, but there is treatment. Treatment will help you lead a normal life and how to deal with relapse. So please take what I have said here to heart and get help. We are all put on this earth to make a difference, to accomplish something and its not about being the thinnest, sickest, or the closest to death person out there. You have a wonderful, bright future ahead of you, if you make that choice. So chose to live.

With love,
Autumn