Don't Burn Bridges!
What if you
need them later?
We dancers are so lucky!
Typically we discover our passion in life, dance, soon after walking into a studio. Many
people aren’t so lucky -- instead they spend a lifetime searching for an interest or
activity that can capture and keep them fulfilled.
For us lucky ones, we’ve found the secret ingredient that provides us with a focus
to our life. We are able to dream, achieve, dream again and achieve again. And we have
found a platform that constantly elevates us to new heights.
Learn
to recognize the problem
Yet on this wonderful
roller coaster called ‘dance’ the motivation that propels us forward is our
emotions. This is the ingredient that drives us to fabulous heights, yet can cause the
lowest of lows. While some of the lows are necessary to help us achieve and appreciate the
highs, I believe we can eliminate some of our lows.
Sometimes our passion for dance
makes it too easy to criticize or pass judgment on others. Plus our naturally dramatic
personalities seek to observe and to contribute to the drama in others’ lives. I
believe this behavior is dangerous to careers. Every time we criticize or pass judgement
on another, we are risking ‘burning a bridge.’
My father told me many years ago: “Be careful whom you burn bridges with, you
never know when you will need them again.” I won’t bore you with examples now
except to say that these are the truest words I was ever told.
And
think 'long term'
I encourage you to think
before judging someone. Will they make is as a dancer? Even if the answer is a clear
‘no’ would they make it as a choreographer, artistic director or dance
administrator? Could they become a selector or judge at auditions? See what I mean? These
questions become unanswerable because they require that you predict the future. This same
person may become a large sponsor of dance or even a dance critic. You can never tell
where people will end up. This I believe is why it is so important not to burn bridges.
I’m not suggesting that you loose your backbone and stop giving opinions, but be
considerate and careful when responding. Treat others are you would like to be treated.
When you are presented with the opportunity to share an opinion you are being given an
opportunity to build your reputation. The dance community will respect you if you give
opinions in a sympathetic manner. For those of you who teach, you probably already have
the skills to deliver criticism with kindness. One of the best approaches is the sandwich
method; bread/filling/bread = good/bad/good or positive/negative/positive.
The computer-age has given dancers and the dance community so many opportunities to
network without a hierarchy or glass ceiling. The opportunity to form a relationship with
people of the dance community who normally would not be accessible is fabulous. The danger
is you never know who you are talking to, so be careful or risk insulting someone who you
may one day need.
People tend to work best with people they like. People in a position to advance your
dancing career will do so confidently if they like you. If they have reason to not like
you why would they give you a chance?
Remember that people don’t tend to forget those bridges you burn. So please, the
next time you are asked ‘what do you think’ -- think before you answer.
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