Help Your Parents
understand
this crazy dance thing
Once
Upon A Time...In a Studio Far, Far Away...
Remember what dance was
like when you first started? You pulled your parents to a studio, you smiled, you pouted
-- whatever it took to get in the door the first time. Or maybe your parents dragged you
there because you didn't know what to think about the whole thing. You were just 'so
cute!'
When you started dance your parents probably just viewed it as yet another activity to
keep you busy and entertained. A hobby maybe. Even the competitions and recitals are
forever fixed in your parents' brains as 'fun kid stuff.'
If you stick to dance long enough you might very well decide 'Hey, this will make a
cool career!' Odds are, your decision will come as quite a shock to those very same proud,
encouraging parents that took tons of videos of you in years past. You might notice a
change in their support for your dancing -- For the Worse! It doesn’t seem
fair when your sibling star basketball player doesn't experience the same reaction.
What's
Up With That?
Sports are structured in such a way that parents understand the value of the
competitive skills and team work that they promote. There is also a very well understood
career path into the pro leagues and lots of money to be had for the talented few that
make it. Dance careers aren't nearly as well understood and are rarely as lucrative.
The transition from amateur to professional dance is poorly documented and rarely
highlighted. To those not closely involved in dance it can appear that one day it’s
for fun, the next you’ve been accepted into a company.
Most of us spend many years deciding to pursue dance as a profession and we have
probably kept the decision making process to ourselves. We assume that by excelling in
exams, competitions and recitals that our family will understand that we have professional
aspirations.
Yet have we verbalized our goal to our family? Probably not. Don't forget! Since most
of our parents are not dancers, nor are they heavily involved in the dance community, so
they may not understand how a professional dance career works.
Come!
Share with me
By sharing your
dreams, goals, aspirations and thoughts you are helping your family understand them. Don't
expect to surprise them with the news when you turn 16! Talk to them all along the way.
You are preparing your family for the challenges you will be facing and helping them to
understand the opportunities and your needs. Please don’t shut your family out for
fear of them not understanding -- help them to understand.
Often families are concerned about the limited opportunities available to professional
dancers. They will also worry about financial situations, the short life span of a
professional dance career, and about your employment opportunities when your performing
days are over. Address these head-on instead of keeping your solutions to yourself.
I encourage you to share this thought process with your family. In fact, share the
whole decision making process. If you spend several years discussing your thoughts and
plans with your parents you will prevent the ‘dance shock syndrome’ from ever
occurring.
Communicate your thought process freely. When you first visualize the life of a
professional dancer, share this visualization with your family. When you begin researching
the steps to be taken, again share this research. Encourage your family to join you in
discussions with your teachers, school administrators or professional dancers.
In fact, share all your thoughts and your fears. Your parents probably will be pleased
to know you have a realistic view of your opportunities.
Communicating effectively and consistently with your family will ensure you benefit
from that same supportive family that took you to your first class and recital. They also
will be lining up for opening night tickets and bragging to neighbors, only this time
about your professional success!
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